Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
