This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
