So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
