we have pet lesbian snakes
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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