Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Randomize
