you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
