you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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