i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
And then he peed in my hair
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