YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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