the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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