I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Duck Duck Cougar?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
