dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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