OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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