Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
