I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
