I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
