Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
