we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
