I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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