hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
