I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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