Its about making memories worth repressing
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
