I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
