I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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