giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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