i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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