why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
