i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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