i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
