fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
