i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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