I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize