I wannas sexs uuuuu
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
