sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
