I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
