we have pet lesbian snakes
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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