just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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