paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
