In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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