Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
