I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
