New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
