My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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