She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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