Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
