I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
