the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
