R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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