Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
