i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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