You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
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This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
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Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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