After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
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Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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