You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
