I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Four minutes until I can fart!
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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