He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
my liver is dry heaving
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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