mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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