I'm eating all of the evidence.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
