dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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