no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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