Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
