you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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