My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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