okay pat passed out under dana's car
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Come share oat with me in your robe
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