do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
