Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
