Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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